Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Exclaiming Points

Does the exclamation point mean the same thing now that it did one hundred and fifty years ago? It seems to be the most abused punctuation mark in this, the earliest part of the twenty-first century.

The exclamation point of bygone times seemed hefty and full of weight. The exclamation point of today seems bulimic and sounds of whining.

How was the exclamation point first born? In what year? In what reference? How was it introduced and first used? Did the creator of the exclamation point die instantly afterward, struck dead by the sheer violence of its birth, flayed to bits by its sharp and severe edges?

And what angry bitch bore the use of ALL CAPS? What freak of nature, what abomination? Which two beings copulated to create such a monstrosity? Did the Caps Lock key conspire with the exclamation point?

Please, won’t everyone please just stop yelling? I’ve been rendered deaf and blind by your shit rhetoric and your shit attitude. LIGHTEN UP! RELAX!!!

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