Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I Harte Spam Emails

Can you think back to your first spam email? You wondered, “How was it that ‘Trixie’ got my email address?” And you became excited because she wanted to connect with you and have a good time. Now, admit it, how many of you responded feeling hopeful? One of the first spam emails I received read like this, “Hello, do you remember me? I’m Abdul Washington from NY. Remember we spoke about a problem of short penis? I have found at last a good product which is capable to correct this problem!!! My power and pleasure has trippled, my wife can hardly keep up, my penis has grown 3.5 inches to just over 6 and is still growing! Try it necessarily!!!” And just as I was straining to remember if I had ever met an Abdul Washington from NY who I just happened to have a discussion with about the problem of short penis, I received the exact same email from John Crews, Jeff Patterson, Coleman Belanger, Lance Pollard, Carlton Khan, Dirk Fitzpatrick, and Morris Lamb, all from NY. At the time, I was thinking that the inclusion of a person’s actual last name somehow gave it validity. I was then trying to remember any occasion where I had an open conversation with a whole group of people from NY about the problem of short penis. Even the misspelling of the word “trippled” seemed to lend to the enthusiasm and credibility of the email, as if the typist was so excited by the ongoing growth of their own penis that the extra “p” was intentional for emphasis, or it was Freudian because they were thinking about nipples. But, I figured it out with “Try it necessarily!!!” The word “necessarily” just didn’t sit right.

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